呢期有幾個乾收銀(consultant)走嚟我公司話要做個 project, 主要係睇吓 x 呢樣野响香港有冇得做. 我覺得前人創作出「乾收銀」呢個中文term 嚟代表 consultant 真係妙絶, 佢地真係有少少嚟斎收錢的意味. 另外一個精妙嘅講法係 they borrow your watch and tell you the time. 依我個人經驗呢個講法真係為120%準確. 好似我呢單野, 基本上嗰幾件 consultants 連個business 係賣咩野都未攪清楚, 但冇所謂喎, 佢會咁問你:
1) 你覺得點解 x 响香港唔流行? (我：d 客對呢隻野冇咩need 喎 ... market 唔係好大喎)
2) 你估我地可唔可以target 一d 特定嘅客戶 for 呢個 x 呢 … (咁實得格, 咩野都實有d 人買格 …)
3) 依 … 咁你覺得如果我地加入 a, b, c 元素, 又假設 price 不變, 你覺得 x 有冇market 呢? (加埋a, b, c, 仲要個price 不變, 咁即係無敵啦, 實有market 啦, 但係有咩可能做倒個 price 不變呀 …做倒我一早做左啦)
4) 唔 …. 我地都係假設啫… 我主要係 explore 一吓 x 嘅 market potential, 我定當然會同其他 key parties 再 discuss 吓 ….
5) 最後… 唔知你可唔可以 provide 倒呢d, 呢d, 呢d, 呢d, 同嗰d data 同 analysis 俾我地呢, 會對個 project 好有用 (嘩, 要咁 detailed 呀, regular reports 冇喎, 要特別揾IT d 同事做喎 … 幾時要呀 …)
就係咁, 一班咩都唔知嘅乾收銀, 响你口中得到左佢想要嘅答案, 又輕易地攞倒極唔輕易得到嘅data, 返去整幾張超靚嘅 powerpoint, 佢就會同老細 present：初步睇 x 响香港係有market 嘅, 但係我定要進一步好小心地revamp 過隻product, 增加佢嘅attractiveness. 就係咁, 老細滿意, 班友仔又可以趙多個 project 繼續睇吓點 revamp 隻 product, 叻仔d 嗰 d 仲可以冧掂個老細, 開一個部門俾佢落腳, 大攪隻無敵 x !
…. 待續
2 則留言:
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered "sure".
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep. "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?", "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business...... Now give me back my dog."
Hi, very nice joke, particularly the "dog" part! Stay in touch!
If u also have a blog, let's share!
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